trying my english~
so i’ve just read Aliah’s blog and the part where she said how she hopes that YPM will look at all angles, rather than just judging on individual CGPAs for the Master’s scholarship..well it really hits me..cause i’ve been hoping the same thing too..i might not be the one top listed for this scholarship but still..i hope i can have the chance to earn it..i’ve been dreaming about the scholarship since the very first day i came here..but at that time i didn’t know how hard it is to be a Ritsumei’s student,to live as a “gaijin” or should i described it as “the alien” among the japanese.. it’s never been easier to live a life here..i’ve lost my confidence, my money,and my belief? i guess at least not my virginity..not yet..hihi..you might think that i’m pathetic but all i can say is i’m trying my best..trying to live a better life trying to make friends and try to make my self comfortable in this absolutely uncomfortable world i live in..some people think it’s not good enough and i’m not trying hard enough..well actually those are my parents word when i’ve recently failed 2 subject in my last exam..for a second i thought they were right..and believe me when i say it hurts like hell hearing they said that after all the things i’ve been through..but when i thought back how hard i worked my ass of studying and hoping that if i could just get a C for those difficult subject with those “no-heart” sensei while living in this what i called as “uncomfortable world”..i think i’ve done the best that i could..it might not be good enough for them or maybe for you too but for me there’s nothing else that i hope i would have done..not now not ever..
